I used to approach people in an unreasonably rational way – whether they benefited me or not; if I had a tangible use for them. It’s still a slight problem for me, but along with recent events and developments, I’ve come to realize that I am not a completely heartless person. No one is.
Regardless of how much I do or don’t need people, I do need people by some amount, as does every other person in existence. It’s an irrefutable character trait of the human psyche. We are social creatures and having a need to belong will always be a part of being human. Being out of tune with this need obviously leads to imbalance and mistakes.
I used to approach romantic relationships like business transactions. “Will this person help me? Will being with them benefit me in any way?” But relationships are not objects. People are not objects. You can’t say, “Hmm you won’t benefit me because of this so we can’t be in a relationship.” Regardless of how logical that seems, it isn’t a reasonable conclusion. It leaves out the very real factor of human emotion… and irrationality (depending on what you consider irrational). Similarly, you can’t say, “Hmmm idk if I want to be in a relationship with you… but you have this which will benefit me, so sure, why not?”
Relationships are an emotional deal, which means that it doesn’t matter if the person can benefit you or not. If you have feelings for them, then you will want to be in a relationship with them, whether they are a convicted murderer or a saint. Irrational, yes, but that’s just how emotions are. Similarly, you can’t force yourself to be in a relationship, or a real relationship, with someone that you don’t have any feelings for, regardless of how much they can benefit you.
How do relationships end then? Like most things, people become bored and/or disillusioned with the previous object of their affections. This can become accelerated by incompatibility or detriments that one, or both, parties have. Irreconcilable differences. Communication is honestly so important in relationships and literally everything else in life too.
Just a little reflection expose. Recently I’ve been watching Prison Break which is currently the best show in existence. I have to fix up this blog lol